I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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