I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
