I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
