Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
