PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I can't put those talents on a resume
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
