this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
