Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
