i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
