That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize