we're blogging at a bar
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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