he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
