nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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