I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
