theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
