Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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