You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
