So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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