All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Someone came in the potted fern
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
