playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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