i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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