Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
