IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize