i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
