i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
