I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
