have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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