GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
