That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
