girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
