these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize