I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
