everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
