I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
third nipple confirmed
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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