i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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