OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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