Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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