Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
