terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
