He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
