Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize