I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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