Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
