Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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