new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
