i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
