carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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