Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
