Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize