you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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