Where did you get a picture of my penis
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
