it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i love accidental penises.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize