So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
