You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
