whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
