I'm drive I can fine osifer
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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